Last Saturday was a tiring yet fulfilling day

I miss Yan Qi

and also Joshua.

=p

They are both from the spastic kids association. I think they have cerebral palsy.
But...they are sooo adorable!!! They really deserve to hangout and have fun!
And so..

We brought them to Jacob Ballas Garden for kids. whee!!

Each of us was assigned to handle a kid. Mine's a timid lil girl name Yan Qi. She broke up crying initially in the bus when i first 'held' her. Her dad said she woke up feeling moody ..ah, how adorable. ha!

Yeap, she teared in the bus, and kept repeating that 'daddy is gonna fetch you home'
And I repeated after her many many many times...yes, 'daddy is gonna fetch you home', after we go play in the garden. ;)

And so, on the way to the garden, i realised she had some problems interpreting what i had to say. Well, it was a challenge. But yet, at times she is just sooo brilliant!
There was once i let her ate her box of honey stars, and was really hungry so i asked, ' can let jie jie eat? ask jie jie do you want to have some?'
and she replied 'do you want to have some?' but never really offered me. She kept eating. LOLZ.

In the garden, she was hyper. and i realised she LOVED ADVENTURE!. She liked the unstable bridge and kept wanting to walk across it. And the best part is...she ALWAYS held my hand before she attempts something, wanting me to go with her. =D
She is just sooo sweet. btw, she's only about 4yo if i'm not wrong.

Joshua is another kid. He was under Jean's supervision. and he's HANDSOME. very well mannered and brilliant too....
omg, these kids deserve more than anything else in the world.

They are like precious lil gems.

lurve em'

( Too bad their parents did not give us any photo consent. So...no pics of them...sobs)

cheerios~

Traumatised

yikes!!!

the worst 3 hours for the semester is indeed, today.
Dispensing practicals.

It is seriously traumatising.
I screw it totally.
3 prescriptions. Gone. Patient will die after my interventions made. well maybe one will survive.

It's like..rushing against time. I gave a wrong dose of inhaler to a patient. And KNOWING that it is wrong , i din bother to go intervent again after the first intervention. Cos, the first intervention has be signed by 'the doctor', and the time limit held me back. In the end, my extemporaneous preparation, which is an ointment, was made 'blindly'. I didn't even have the time to read the literature. I didn't even weigh out the correct quantity. Somehow the tablets were insufficient, time was taken to get more tablets, and yeah...i was like 'i don't care anymore'.
For a moment, my mind was overloaded, and i stood there, doing nothing, traumatised.

Yes, i screwed up EVERYTHING! strength was wrong. didn't complete my patient counseling notes, wrong calculation, wrong intervention, missed out filling in precription register, missed out on getting the right things i knew i would have if i have more TIME. I know I'm slow. And that's how it is. Put me into a stressbox and i'll go 'blank'.

Perhaps, Pharmacy is just not for me. I don't and I won't be a good pharmacist. =(
I don't know what is right. to get the right things done, i take ages. actually i would rather do ONE good preparation than to screw 3 preparations. but..i don't know. It's not just the matter of failing this module. I don't care anymore. It is more like failing LIFE. I can't even meet up to the standards of doing a job of a good pharmacist. If so, why do it?

* weeping silently in own's humble abode*

and then there will be Dispensing II in 2 weeks time.
[vomits blood]

Monday blues

It is a blue monday. the sky is blue. the sun ain't shining as brightly as it ought to be.

I'm reluctantly sitting in front of my laptop, blogging.
I'm also reluctant to do anything related to studies. Every monday I have to feedback on a topic on my IT forum. OK, today's topic ain't that difficult. Then, am i supposed to update on my wiki project as well? oh, laziness...

Next, I have my FedEx project to furnish up. And then, i have my social work tutorial presentation to work on..afterwhich i'm done with all these, I have to complete my Research Method evaluation of Lit to be handed up this Friday, and my social work project to be handed in next week, and panic for the Dispensing Lab session this Thursday. Next on the list is to mug for next week's Top25 Drugs again. And after this week, there's more to come....

The National University of Singapore is ranked the 30th amongst the top 200 and 4th in Asia based on the latest results of the Times Higher Education – Quacquarelli Symonds (THE–QS) World University Rankings.
NO- wonder the list of an individual student's workload is endless .......

Rants and Grunts

Spending Sundays alone is boring. Oh. No, I’m not alone. I’m with a whole pile of papers and documents overloaded in my desktop. Planned to watch 2 webcasts today but due to unforeseen circumstances, both webcast couldn’t be LOADED. Darn. Hence, I have to reserve my 4 hours of webcast on other busier days during the e-learning week aka ‘Extra’ Learning Week.Nice. --.-

I think I’m having bipolar these days. Feel super down then super high. Now, I’m super down. EVERYTHING I have to complain about. Particularly ‘The House’

Yes. I’m just too freaking pissed. What about? Cleanliness. I don’t care if you think I have OCD ( obsessive compulsive disorder) having to clean the house all the time but my standards of cleanliness isn’t that high actually.

I get pissed when GIRLS can’t keep the house clean. And . They are not PRC. They are Malaysians. Toilets, kitchen, living room. I have been cleaning since the start of the semester and now….I gave up. It is like being a freaking maid to them. Simple task like picking up ur own hair in the toilet after use is not a very hard thing to do I suppose. They love seeing the entire toilet gets jammed up with their hair. Gross. And no one washes the toilet except for me. OMG.

And not to mention my room. The authority is not in my hands. Yes, I am my rights. But when the house is dominated with a bunch of ignorant and unhygienic people, they tend to overshadow you. My room. I have ¼ of the room. And the rest belongs to …

I bet no one cleans the kitchen as well.

I even have one housemate who uses up tissue paper bought by others, and uses my pots without informing or asking for permission. Great.

Electricity bill is higher than normal. I am so NOT GOING to PAY if there is ever extra surcharge for it. 24 hour air-conditiong is too much. And guess what, air con is turned on with the fan! Thank God the other room mates are at least using the electricity wisely. I can’t stand ppl with these type of mindset i.e. when you have paid for it, use it to the max. Don’t you live on earth too? Haven’t you heard of global warming? Don’t you know that air-conditiong can dry your skin and make u look older ? Yes, I’m complaining coz I’m a victim . I can’t turn off the air-conditioning coz if I do so, ‘they’ will turn it on again. HOT? Then what’s ur explanation when it rained the entire day and yet the air-conditioning is on?

I just hate the people I stay with. If given a choice, I will never ever stay with people I don’t share similar awareness and cleanliness again. - Can’t even study and concentrate in my room . I miss my single personal space in PGP.

I dont care if i offended anyone. - bleh-

Ding Dong

It's just soooo freaking challenging to force urself to study yet you don't feel like studying.
It is just tooo much!!!
What not to absorb so many things ONCE AGAIN. and AGAIn..each and every semesters in NUS.
been thru 6 semesters..now the 7th..and it's getting....bored to go thru this cycle over and over again.
The only reason that is pushing me is the thought of 'failure'. I've had many failures. And you might ask, haven't you got bored of so many failures?
Yes , i am. But the after-feeling of having to fail is...just terrible. It is like a near-death experience. You feel useless and do not belong. Confidence go downhill, everything else follows.
You hate yourself, and you just wanna DIE.

Sigh.
I just really wish to escape from this monotonous city life in Sg.
I wana run away to islands..have been saying this many times and yet,
i haven't really got one good good relaxing hols away from STRESS.
It was during the 3 month break that was the best time for relaxation away from civilisation.
HOwever, i was still stuck in another city. KL. At least, being at home wasn't as bad as being in SG.

Oh dear.

My thoughts keep helping me to think of other options in future besides pharmacy. I'm currently thinking of social work. lolz. but that doesn't really mean i will do it since i still have a forced 10 month training to go. I really am a no-decision maker. I can't even and don't even know what's best for me.

Sigh.
Information systems module...one module i know nothing about now demands me to go for its exam this thurs. Screw it badly. Don't know what it's all about.
Monographs.. sick sick and sick. Just kill me with the doses.
Pham Ther2..i rmb the first test for Pharm Ther 1 did not cover as much as this times'......
yaaaaaaaaaa....going hysteric.....
send me to IMH

THank you.

A fulfilling brown-bag day!
Can't help feeling good after someone's day is made happier..
It's really a rewarding thing to see the smiles on the faces of the elderly.

And finally I had Saba Fish!
yummy.Had never loved a fish this much! haha


After much thought..
I realise that being single even at this age is not an issue.
It's more gratifying, as one part of your time is spared to focus on other more fulfilling things in life.
Rather than having to tolerate one another in a relationship, being single enables the person to do anything he/she feels good about themselves. In other words, self-esteem increases and this could lead to happier, longer lives.
haha.
Just a very skeptical deduction.

Loads of work piling up and things needed to be done within the stipulated deadlines.
Just gotta hang on and prioritize ( Although I really suck at this).

cheerios,
till then..

I've no idea what is wrong with the net lately.
Call me IT-illiterate. So Very True.

Certain website pages turned into formats I've never seen before.

And just when I'm craving for Saba Fish at this moment,
The stall with the scrumptious Saba Fish with loads of Freshh Onions MOVED!!!
How pathetic.
Just to add on to some of the 'drama',
" I'll Never Have the Chance to satisfy my fetish for THAT Saba Fish ANYMORE!!!!"
- A huge sigh-

Well, the NUS semester has begun and this, being the 2nd week does not bring good feelings at all.
Having taken one TOUGH elective - SW1101E is the worst decision made. It's as demanding as my core modules with finals = 60%.

Chill. I am chill. Disliking 3/6 modules this semester puts me into the 50-50 chance of SURVIVAL.

Ah.
Nevermind.
At least I get one free day in a week.
Good enough.

( I still couldn't believe the SABA FISH STALL IS GONE!)

You know, like how men needs SEX to satisfy their 'desire'
That's exactly how i feel with the SABA FISH right now.

Boohoo.
Nothing's gonna change my love for you.

Well,
at least for today-lah.
hehe.;)